My New Year's Resolutions

I will change my password to something other than "password" or "hello"

I will not call in sick to work. I might on occasion call in dead.

I will learn to krochay, crowchey, crochay … er, rather learn to spell.

I will set realistic goals. Instead of "I will learn to speak Chinese" I might try "I will order Chinese Food".

I will not make hash browns with blueberries in them.